Eye Candy

It is fun to work for a gay boss. Every time you let your hair down and point out a cute boy across the room, you can be sure that ten minutes later P will be chatting him up as well, the fact that P is in a secure, long term relationship not withstanding. “Eye candy” that floats past our window, as he discusses daily tasks with me, distracts him. Kym, my girl friend at work often laughingly relates the story of how P stepped out of consultation to assist the AC technician – just because he looked and smelled “absolutely divine”.  While such exchanges do sound culturally shocking at first, gradually you tend to drop your shackles to enjoy and even participate in his silly capers!! 

For the past week, P has been unusually ditzy. He was in the midst of hiring a new placement student to do some work for us. It was like giving him a new toy to play with. Kym and I were at our wits ends. P would disappear into little flights of fantasy over the coaching module that the new team member J was to produce. We had not yet met J, and were insanely jealous of the huge chunk of P’s attention that he was commanding. Finally yesterday, P realised that it would be best that he introduce J to us, in the better interest of preventing a mini – mutiny and to preserve peace. 

And so the meeting was set up for half past ten in the morning. P was in the office early and was fretting and fussing over everything. When he flapped around my head one last time, I just wished he would settle down and relax. J drove up in his car and stepped out. P rushed to the door to escort him in, while I put on a wry grimace to greet the man.

And then I met him. He was like a combination of a Greek god and Brad Pitt. He had deep blue eyes, blonde hair and dimples. Suddenly I realised that he had his hand extended in my direction. P was saying something in the background, but my brain registered nothing. Flummoxed, I smiled stiffly and shook his hand. I needed to recover my balance after being exposed to such a vision. Fortunately P ushered J into his office and started the meeting.

I sat down with a thump on my chair and exhaled. Apparently I had been holding my breath all that while. “How can one person be that perfect?” I wondered vaguely. Kym was sitting across the room and watching the entire proceedings with amusement.

“You do realise that he is off limits”, she asked gently.

“What? Oh definitely……I just did not expect a vision to float through the office unannounced. I’m fine”.

“Then stop gawking. Come on, we have to join the meeting”. 

For the next ten minutes, I sat in a daze in the meeting, while P introduced Kym and me to J. Shaking myself, I sat resolute, stiff and focussed. This meeting was such a waste of time, I thought to myself in irritation. I need to get back to my work.  Fortunately it concluded before I worked myself up any further. As we walked out, J thanked us and treated us to another one of his beatific smiles.

The steely resolve I had made melted and little birdies tweeted in my brain. Were those stars I was seeing? Suddenly there was a loud crash, as I unseeingly walked into Paul’s chair. Kym was doubled up in laughter as I picked myself up with as much dignity as I could muster and closed the door behind me firmly.

My legs hurt, but my wounded pride hurt even more. At that moment, I just wish there had been a hole I could crawl into, or that the earth would open up and swallow me. Silly, treacherous hormones! While I was still cursing myself and Kym was sputtering with laughter, the door to the office opened and P sailed out talking.

“Shroooottteee, J and I were wanting some coffee and I was wondering if……..”

“C-R-A-S-H” 

The sound echoed across the building. Fortunately, the partition that P had walked into was still in one piece. I made a mental note to myself about its durability. Suddenly, my fragile ego was restored. Kym had a stitch in her side from laughter, while J was looking from P to me in bemusement.

 P and I just felt at home. What can I say…..Like attracts like!

“Bossy” notes

Typically, my blog posts are coloured by events in my daily life – however these days, the onset of semester-end evaluations has wiped out any shred of interesting occurrences in my life (what can i say – examinations have a way of making your days appear drab and lifeless!! ) So, instead today, I shall acquaint you with my boss – P.

I met P one fine Wedneday morning – just three weeks into my stint in Brisbane – when i was still very much a wide eyed and bewildered export into the city!! I was responding to an ad that he had placed for a casual office administrator in my university website. As we both reached the main door of his practice at the same instant in perfect timing, I had little idea of how indicative it was of all the the fun that was to follow.

My interview was spent partially exclaiming over a scratch that his cat had planted on his wonderful leather satchel. Initially, P struck me as a very enthusiastic person – full of wonderful ideas, and a slight lack of structure. A few further interactions comfirmed my initial assessment! And how!

For those of you who know me – you will know that I have come from a culture of egoistic, tyrannical, slave driving bosses. It was little surprise then, that I tended to reserve my thoughts and emotions and maintain a formal and distant exterior at work. P soon dispensed away with all of that – he had a cheerful, conversational manner that inevitably disarmed me. He genuinely wanted to know what I did on the weekend, and what my impressions of Brisbane were. Gradually I eased into the breezy Australian work culture.

One quiet afternoon, P decided that I looked homesick – so he played his take on “Indian” music to cheer me up (It took me many further encounters, before I had the heart to tell him that Goa Trance, was not infact, what Indians routinely listened to!) On other occasions, he’d come back with takeaway menus from Indian restaurants for me, or a cookie or a coffee from down the road – because I looked too solemn!

Hand P a piece of paper for a minute – and you will be extremely fortunate if you ever see it again – a fact that is openly acknowledged by P himself. Give him a cheque to bank and a telephone number at the same time, and don’t be too aghast to watch him neatly pen the message down on the cheque – the fact that you both have been chasing that payment for the past two months notwithstanding!

P has a penchant for re-decorating – a well known fact to most of our clients – who look forward to seeing how different the office looks with every visit. He appreciates the most basic things you do for him, thanks you incessantly and gets excited about every tiny contribution you make at work.

One afternoon, after P had praised me way too many times for even my self obsessed soul to handle, i told him that my head would swell too much to fit in through the door. P surveyed the door way and matter-of-factedly agreed to get a new wider one! He gets locked out of the office, picks us up and drives us around, fetches for us and is quite content to be dispatched to the bank or the supermarket to buy toilet paper. Unlike the insecure bosses of my past – P revels in every idea you come up with. When I fall sick and lose my voice – so that i sound worse than a squawking hen, P will turn up from a coffee run with a bag of lozenges and no coffee!

For those of you who don’t know it, P is gay. And I love the simplicity of his attitude about it. He once accompanied a girl friend and me on an evening out, and was quite content to share anecdotes about his partner.

Being a cynic at heart, I am always of the opinion that one should never be too trusting of the world at large – for it can ruthlessy de-spirit an individual – but somehow P seems to get along just fine! I engage in a futile discussion with my coleague as we write reminders out for P (He will forget his own name if you dont remind him) – what is it about him that endears him to people – encouraging them to collect him under their sensible wings.

From P I’ve learnt to value fellow coleagues. His simplicity encourages you to drop your shackles and enjoy the people you work with. I cannot pinpoint the reason for his endearment – but he just has a way of getting under your skin!